Patron Saint of Selective Hearing - Dachshund Tshirt

✔ 100% ring-spun cotton tee
✔ garment-dyed fabric for a soft, broken-in feel
✔ relaxed unisex fit for everyday wear
✔ designed, printed, and shipped in NC, USA
✔ made for people whose dog has a bigger personality than most humans

Find your size

Measure a shirt you already own that fits well. Lay it flat. Measure the width across the chest from armpit to armpit. Measure the length from the highest shoulder point to the bottom hem.

Size	Width (in)	Length (in)
S	18.25	26.6
M	20.25	28
L	22	29.4
XL	24	30.75
2XL	26	31.6

Measurements may vary by up to 1 inch.

Shipping & processing

Processing time: 2–5 business days.

Shipping time: 3-5 days (estimated, not guaranteed).

Tracking: You will receive a tracking number by email.

Care Instructions

Machine wash cold, inside out. Hang to dry or tumble dry low. Do not bleach. Avoid harsh detergents and softeners. Do not iron directly on the print.

Every breed has its reputation. The Council has simply chosen to make it official.

The Dachshund heard you. The record is clear on this. They were three feet away, the room was silent, and the instruction was delivered at normal volume. What happened next - the slow blink, the deliberate turn of the head, the complete absence of any response - was not a hearing issue. The Council investigated. The ears work fine.

They simply had other priorities.

The canonization was straightforward. The evidence was overwhelming and mostly filmed on phones.

This shirt is for the humans who have learned to ask twice and then do it themselves.